Black Metal Veins

By Jimmy Squarejaw

https://www.facebook.com/yallaredead

www.yallaredead.com

*WARNING*

All movies reviewed for SUNDAY SNUFF contain graphic depictions that may include rape, live animals being murdered, and extreme gore.  None of the writers condone such acts we just watch this shit. 

What do you get when you throw a smorgasbord of people who are all insanely addicted to drugs into a 90-minute documentary?  You get the kid tested, mother approved documentary called BLACK METAL VEINS by Lucifer Valentine.  That’s right folks, remember all those kids you grew up with that you hated because they would sit in the food court at the mall after being sexually abused by their Dads and make fun of you or try to fight you?  Well shit, they all ended up in this movie to bitch about their terrible lives and shoot heroin and smoke crack.  Hell, one of them even dies in a drug deal gone wrong.  So sit back and listen to me rant about this gem!

BLACK METAL VEINS follows the lives of numerous junkies in the Babylonian paradise known as Norfolk, Virginia.  Brad is one of the main characters we meet in the beginning.  He’s obsessed with black metal, looks like if Phil Anselmo had a baby with Grimace, and is a full-blown heroin addict.  Throughout the movie we get to learn about his failed relationships, his grim outlook on life, and he fills us in that he has been stealing oxycontin from his Mom who has Legionnaire’s Disease - oh, and he also has one of the most disturbing sex scenes with one of the grossest people I’ve ever seen ever in the history of forever!

In the same opening scene we also meet Raven.  She is a rambling disease ridden looking junkie who enjoys emptying out her boyfriend’s bank account and filling us in on all of the depressing details of her life.  She also enjoys walking around naked which isn’t all that it’s cracked up to bee; see Raven is a mother of two and because of this (plus the excessive amounts of drugs she does) her body looks like it was broken and stretched by Wilt Chamberlain's massive cock, and then we meet Raven’s loving boyfriend Mark Dykman. Mark, like most people named Mark, is a really cool, clean-cut, nice mellow guy who doesn’t even do drugs.  Well eventually in the movie Mark kinda flips to the side of the devil and starts helping Raven shoot-up.  And if that’s not bad enough Mark and Raven have the other two characters in Black Metal Veins film them having a genuinely disturbing sex scene.  Picture watching a fit, hairless navy guy fuck an incoherent, lesion covered goblin and that’s a good start. 

Don’t get me wrong, the movie itself was really well made for what the subject matter is.  Lucifer Valentine creates a hauntingly claustrophobic sense throughout the whole movie that you can’t ever experience unless you are a junkie or friends with a junkie.  I was swept up in a lot of the paranoia and anxiety created during the movie thinking every door knock could be a police raid, a disgruntled drug dealer, thief, or someone saying someone else died.

I feel like I could go on and on about all of sociological elements in this movie and about all of the black, white, and grey themes that are covered in BLACK METAL VEINS.  But that’s what I really like about it and I don’t like to draw conclusions for people, even though sometimes I do.  Unfortunately a lot of people will be deterred by the intense imagery in the movie but underneath that shock is a lot of insight to a side of life that a lot of people will never have the opportunity to witness.

If you are looking into getting this movie I have the uncut version that includes the horrible sex scenes.  There is another shorter version out there sans the smut!

Throw in a few other colorful personalities and you have a 90-minute reason why you should never get involved in hard drugs, throw on a Stone Temple Pilots album and you’ll be straight for life.

Blake and Jimmy’s Extreme-O-Gauge!

Gore: 3 out of 5, it’s not realistic it’s REAL!  A lot of shooting up…A LOT!

Rape: 2 out of 5, it would be a 5 out of 5 but two scenes were explained in the commentary.  

Animal Death:  0 out of 0, Nope.

Necrophilia:  0 out of 0, but damn close.

Torture: 0 out of 0.

Overall Movie: 4 out of 5, great documentary that will surely bum you out!